"Too bad, what happened to your brother. He was a good guy."

Out of the blue, it came out of my boss' mouth that afternoon. We had just finished a discussion on work matters, I sitting in my cubicle, he standing and leaning on my desk. I could not help but look at him and say, "Come again?"

He repeated and added, "I knew him, you know."

Yes, of course I did. He and my brother had graduated from the same university. Not really best friends, from what I had heard, but close enough for occasional stay-overnights at each other's places during those days. It had been a pure coincidence that I had joined his father's private enterprise. I had recognized him from my brother's funeral service. We had since become more than just colleagues, but seldom talked about my brother. Hence, my need to double check.

"Never found out what really took place, did they? For all that country's efficiency."

That country was Singapore, where an accident (concluded) had five years ago cost my brother his life.

I shrugged and said, "An alleged hit-and-run, they decided." Which all of us had believed. Still did.

And that was that. No more mentions of my late brother were made thereafter.

That was why this same boss of mine looked at me blankly when I informed him of my resignation a week later.

"But, really, Ka, why? What's the real reason? Has anyone here mistreated you or something? You got a much better offer?"

"I told you my reason," I replied. "Nothing wrong with you, nothing wrong with everyone here, nothing wrong with the company. And nope, noone has given me any offer, let alone a better one. I've simply decided to move to Singapore. To find out what really happened five years ago."

"Your brother."

I nodded. "My brother."

For a few moments he just looked at me without saying anything. "Very well," he said at last. "We'll miss you around here, Uka. I will write you a good reference letter. You have anything in mind what you'll be doing there? I mean, whatever you're doing there, you still need a job, right?"

I cracked a smile. "But of course! Bills and accommodation don't pay themselves."

My soon-ex-boss smiled with me. "I might be able to help. But don't hang on to it."

I did not. Yet, he really helped me in the end by getting me in touch with one of his Singaporean business partners. I took it from there, did just enough to land a job as a sales executive. Nothing fancy. It would hopefully pay the bills while at the same time allow me sufficient spare time to (in my own words) satisfy my curiosity.

I wished I could've said the family's curiosity. But my father simply looked sad and asked, "Why would you want to re-open the wound, Ka? Your brother is resting in peace now. Let him be in peace." And my mother refused to talk to me for two days, before sending me off at the airport with a suitcase full of instant noodles and snacks. "Be careful, Uka," she said. "Your father and I will pray for you. Whatever you find, may it be the best."

I nearly replied, "The best for whom?" I caught myself just in time and instead answered, "Thank you. Take care, you two. Love you." Hugs ensued.

And so, exactly a month after that fateful remark at my cubicle, I was on my way to (in my now-ex-boss' words) uncover the truth.

(Happy, happy birthday to Sis and Dad -- thanx for helping me move.)

Current music: Ray Peterson - Tell Laura I Love Her
Current mood: happy