I know what you're thinking: whoa, whatever happened to this guy? June's still young -- and our beloved Geminians are only starting to get older by one -- and three entries already? He's on fire!

I'm no longer bored, thanks to this and that. But when you're done with everything you've been tasked with, you'd tend to feel a bit... well, not exactly bored, lest I'll contradict myself -- rather, I dunno, restless? Uneasy? It's like, there you are, in front of your puter, nothing to do, and your mind just goes blank. What to do? C'mon, that's a puter before you, do something, surf somewhere -- anything, anywhere!

So I dug out old pals' archives. Guess what I found.

My very first blog entry!

Whoa, that was, like, history, man! From a time when it seemed that everyone in the blogosphere knew everyone else and I was still my 26-year-old self -- ancient history is more like it. BTW, please excuse the, err, oh-so romantic theme. Yes, yours truly created it, but it was commissioned by Bryan Tamara -- so look for him.

And because this brings such a good -- good now, bad then, it serves as a precious reminder -- memory, I decided to re-post it here. My first ever gitu-gitu -- ^TM Jokatz -- entry.

The old man came to me and said, "You don't look too well, Young Man."

"Yeah, I'm not well, Old Man."

"You wanna talk about it?"

"Not sure. I seldom talk to anyone about myself."

"And why not?"

"Why should I? My problems are just that... mine, other people need not worry about 'em."

"But you've got them people worried about you."

"Why should they?"

"Why shouldn't they? You don't look too well, even to me."

"And what do you care?"

"It is my job to watch people."

"You're just an old man."

"With a pair of eyes."

"With a pair of eyes."

"And a heart."

"And a heart. So what's a heart good for?"

"You can love with it."

"Love... such a strong word."

"Everyone loves."

"Sure does. With a heart. And what if one doesn't have a heart?"

"Don't you have a heart, Young Man?"

"Maybe. I'm not too sure anymore about anything. I used to take things for granted. Now things are being taken away from me."

"Ah..."

"Things that I treasured. Things that gave me strength and hope to live on. Things that I well took care of.

"Including love."

"Including love."

The old man smiled. "See, it wasn't so hard, was it?"

"What?"

"Talking to people."

"Guess not."

"Whatcha gonna do with those things?"

"I dunno. Sit on 'em for a while, I guess."

"But you no longer have them."

"Hey, you know what, you speak too well for an old man."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome."

Silence.

"So... you got any suggestion, Old Man?"

"Nah. You will solve your problems yourself. You always do."

"I always did."

"You always do."

"Like I said, I'm no longer sure 'bout anything anymore. Tell me, does being lackadaisical help? I'm kinda tired of trying when nuttin' seems to work."

"You know too well it doesn't."

"Yeah, guess not."

"So why are you?"

"None works."

"Perhaps you're just not trying hard enough."

"Not hard enough??? Well... perhaps... I don't know."

"Now you tell me, when did you start being a quitter? A defeatist?"

"I never did."

"Oh yes, you did. Otherwise, we wouldn't be here having this conversation."

"Old Man, you're being too smart for your own good."

"I'm trying."

"A quitter, huh? It can't be that bad, can it?"

"You tell me."

"Damn."

Silence.

"Gosh, I am a quitter now."

"You know what they say, it's never..."

"... too late. I guess you're right, Old Man."

Smile.

"From now on I will keep trying. Well, try to keep trying. Trying hard."

"It's never too hard."

"Right. Glad you came, Old Man. What brought you to me anyway?"

"I watch people."

"Why me?"

"I watch you."

"Well, gee... for a moment I thought you were just a normal old man..."

We locked eyes, his surprisingly warm yet distant.

"Don't you recognize me? I am You."

[Evidently written on Sep 07, 2002]

Current music: Warkop DKI - Mamayukero
Current mood: happy