Question: how many Singaporeans does it take to change a lightbulb?

Answer: that depends whether the lightbulb is in the opposition district.

Answer: dunno leh, will this be in the exam?

Answer: I can't be bothered.

Answer: aiyoh! I told u oledi wat, this lightbulb no good wan!

Answer: 744.

1 to appear on Channel NewsAsia to deny that any lightbulb needs changing.

5 to comment on how bad this lightbulb business would make Singapore look to its neighboring countries.

6 to blame whoever initially changed the lightbulb.

10 to start the National Lightbulb Awareness Movement.

512 to stand around MRT stations on Saturday to collect donation in support of the Movement.

15 to 'conduct survey' over the phone while explaining the heaps of benefits of joining the Movement and how the membership fees are waived in the first year.

5 to write to the Straits Times, complaining and asking the government to quickly regulate lightbulbs to prevent such matter from surfacing again in the future.

25 to reply via the Straits Times, saying how pathetic the authors of the previous letters are for always looking to the government to do this and that.

125 to blog about how pathetic those who keep arguing on the newspaper, and Singaporeans in general, are.

9 to sit on the Steering Committee that oversees Project Change Lightbulb.

13 to attend the weekly meetings to update everyone on the progress of Project Change Lightbulb.

1 that kena arrow to come up with the action plan to ensure smooth transition from the old lightbulb to the new one, leveraging on the existing infrastructure, complying to the security standards, and without forgetting the contigency procedures in the event of failures to achieve the high-availability requirement of subsequent lightbulbs.

3 to endorse the action plan -- because noone wants to be singled out for being responsible.

5 to draft and write a disclaimer, stating clearly that the vendor engaged to perform the lightbulb changing operation is not to be held liable for any defects or malfunctions resulting from the quality of the new lightbulb.

6 to draft and write a disclaimer, relieving the lightbulb supplier of any responsibilities for any claims and damages resulting from the failure to follow the instructions provided solely for the purpose of changing the lightbulb.

0 to change the lightbulb in the end. A non-Singaporean contractor is hired.

1 to explain to the public that Singaporeans are in no danger of losing their jobs to foreigners; they are required here to simply supplement the local talents. Additionally, the delay in executing the Project Change Lightbulb has been necessary to ensure proper planning and careful decision making.

And 2 to audit and make sure all the figures above add up.

Current music: TV Theme - 21 Jump Street
Current mood: happy