Valentine's Day had never been my time of the year. But it was especially worse this year.

I reached the place by the river at seven in the evening. It was always couples' favorite spot, all the more so on Valentine's Day. All the couple benches -- so called because they seated two persons and were ideally positioned for the romantically involved -- were occupied. Most, if not all, the ladies had flowers in their hands, naturally -- flowers the gentlemen had undoubtedly spent ridiculous amounts on. The men were all smiles, nonetheless. The beauty -- mystery, some said -- of love.

I walked further down along the river, to a row of pubs, cafes, and restaurants. To my surprise, I managed to find an empty outdoor table at the first cafe. Well, I had tipped the cute waitress generously, but still. Having ordered a cup of coffee and bagel, I decided that dining conspicuously alone was not a thing to do on Valentine's Day, so I asked for a side plate to be put in front of my imaginary date.

"I'm expecting someone," I told the cute waitress, who put the plate down gently and gave me an understanding smile. That made me wonder if I had been too generous with the tip.

The truth was, I was never smooth with ladies. I had been a late bloomer -- if such terminology applied to boys -- in school and interested more in the scientific aspects of life than social. As my peers saved and borrowed money to pay for their dates, I did likewise to purchase the latest computer games and gadgets. As they went to the gym to build muscles and impress the girls, I wrote a computer program after another.

Not that I had felt anything wrong with my social life -- or rather, the lack of. In fact, I had pitied my friends for wasting their time and money on those so-called romantic encounters, not all having ended well, of course. I had barely paid any attention to girls and been proud of it.

Until one named Rosie moved into the picture. Or to be precise, into one of my university classes.

We had pretty much ignored each other at first. Then Fate must have got bored and one evening decided, just for entertainment, to have the two of us alone in the computer lab. She had been struggling with her assignment, due the next day, and in desperation, having recognized me as one of her classmates, had turned to me for help.

A few programming assignments later, we started going out. Fate -- by then fully entertained -- had made it easy the rest of the way and Rosie and I had dated all through university. Three years after graduation, we were pronounced husband and wife. How good time flew.

I took a few sips of my coffee and threw my glances around. Nearly all the other tables seated happy couples, each looking lovingly at each other. Fleetingly, I wondered if they would still do that had this not been the Lovey Dovey Day.

Never being one to freely express oneself romantically, I had never cared much for Valentine's Day. Fully aware, Rosie had determined to change that. For starters, she would have made us sending each other a card. Next, she would have demanded flowers. "Any flowers will do, Hon, since I know you're terrible at this. But if you could somehow pick red tulips, that would be super."

Well, it had not been super every year, but I had always tried my best. To her credit, Rosie had likewise done her best to appreciate her helpless husband's effort. Once, a crooked flower lady had taken me for a ride, selling me what she had claimed to be rare and expensive blue tulips. I had proudly presented the 'blue tulips' to my beautiful partner, only to have her smiling and looking at me with pity.

"I thought it would make a nice change from the usual red tulips," I had said weakly.

"You should've stuck with red, Hon," she had explained patiently. "You can't go wrong."

"But why red tulips?"

"They signify a declaration of love."

The thought brought a smile to my face. Oh, what happy soulmates we had been.

I touched the empty plate and sighed. Fifty meters away, two lovers shared a bench and a hearty laugh. The guy must have told a very funny joke. Something I was never good at. I sighed again and watched the girl put her head on his shoulder. He put an arm around her and brushed her hair with his hand. I pulled my baseball cap low, hiding my face. What a miserable man, dining by himself on Valentine's Day and spying others having their intimate moments.

The cute waitress -- no older than 21, I decided -- came over and asked if I needed anything else. Yes, bring my Rosie back, will you? I shook my head and smiled. She nodded and smiled back. Such a waste, I thought, how a pretty girl like her had to work the evening shift on the most romantic day of the year.

"Wait," I called. She turned. I pointed to my almost empty cup. "Can I have another cup, please? And the menu?" The girl nodded and walked away. I made a face to noone in particular. Why would I want the menu? I barely managed to finish my bagel and had no appetite.

I got my coffee and menu, as the couple on the bench shared another joke. They were completely oblivious to the rest of the world around them. The rest of the world, in turn, paid them no attention. That was, the rest of the world but this poor man, who was pretending to study the menu.

Just then, the guy stood up and looked in my direction. I quickly lowered my eyes to the pasta section, half consciously pulled my cap even lower. Did he see me watching them, I thought. Which, on reflection, was stupid because so what? He walked by, giving me a casual glance, and went inside the cafe. I put the menu down and caught the eyes of a gentleman seated three tables down. He gave me a quick smile and turned back to his lady friend.

Minutes later, the man from the couple bench reappeared with two take-away cups. He walked past my table, this time not even looking at me, and to his love interest. He passed a cup to her and they started to walk away.

I knew what would happen next. He would take her to his place and they would spend the hours leading to midnight enjoying each other's nearness. Well, happy Valentine's Day to them. I almost subconsciously raised my cup. Then, I realized that my hand was trembling slightly.

Come on, now. Be strong, will you. I quickly put the cup down and signaled for the check. While waiting for it, I took the time to close my eyes. I had never been an overly emotional person and I had no plan to start now.

My pretty waitress came with the check and I paid for my two cups of coffee and the bagel, tipping her some more. "Happy Valentine's Day," I said, thrusting into her hand some red tulips I had bought on my way over. She looked at me in alarm. "For you," I told her. "As you see," I indicated the empty side plate, "my date never showed up."

"I'm sorry," she muttered.

"It's okay," I replied, then added with a smile, "Red tulips signify a declaration of love."

"They're lovely. Thank you so much, sir." She gave me a most appreciative grin. I nodded and was about to rise when the emotions suddenly rushed back. I stayed put.

"You all right, sir?" the waitress showed some genuine concerns. "Can I get you anything?"

I brushed her off. "I'm okay, really. I'll just have to sit here for another minute. Don't worry about it." I gave her an assuring smile. Assured, she went off, red tulips in hands. I shut my eyes.

"Hi." I looked up and saw the man from three tables down. "What the hell are you doing?" he demanded, pulling the chair in front of me and sitting down.

"I, uh... I couldn't help it..." Then, realizing how softly I had spoken, I said in a firmer voice, "Chill, man, I did nothing wrong."

The man shook his head in disgust. "For your own sake, that'd better be right. I specifically told you not to be seen anywhere near!"

"All right, all right. I won't do anything stupid. Promise."

The man shook his head once again and went back to his table. He said something to the woman he was with and she stole a glance at me before giving a shrug.

When I finally left the cafe, I was still shaking inside. "Everything's going to be just fine," I told myself. "Rosie won't come back and it's time to move on."

As I took my stroll along the river, however, I couldn't help myself and touched the still-vacant bench, which minutes earlier had seated the couple.

Rosie and her lover.

I'm sorry, Rosie. I gave you my only love and there's no way I'm sharing you with another person.

From the corner of my eye, I saw the professional I had hired -- the man I had just spoken with -- and his lady accomplice took their leave. Soon, he would reach my competitor's love nest and do what I had paid him to do.

Don't worry, Rosie dear. The man is one of the best in the business and he has assured me he'll do it fast. You will hardly feel a thing. I looked down. My hands were still trembling, but now more from contempt. As for your lover, however... Well...

I left everyone's favorite Valentine's Day spot, already rehearsing my role as a grief-stricken husband.

Current music: Green Day - Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Current mood: happy